Lex Luthor had cameras everywhere. It didn’t matter if Jayna was on the toilet or if Superman was 3 galaxies away enjoying a bowl of cereal, Lex Luthor could put it up on the big screen if he wanted. Sometimes, if you were too lucid while you were watching the show, you’d notice, but most times you didn’t care that Luthor was watching a tight closeup of a couple Super Friends fixing a satellite. Luthor had to have had the hugest collection of blackmail tapes. His tapes at home are probably labelled “French Ambassador with Transvestite Hooker,” “Prime Minister Eating what he Found in his Nose,” and “Monkey Fucking Dog.” Why did he go through with all the complicated mind control bullshit when he could have quietly extorted money from every country’s government without the Super Friends even knowing? And if they did find out, just threaten to release the tapes of Wendy and Cyborg’s Titanium Pleasure Arm.

I bought from Hops Direct last year, and was mostly pleased. The experience was a bit rocky due to the shortage-induced chaos, but they made things right rather quickly once the problem was noticed.

Osama Bin Laden got everything on his Christmas list after 9/11 — US out of Saudi Arabia; the greatest military in the world over-extended, pinned down and distracted; the greatest proponent of democracy suddenly alienated from its allies; a US culture verily eager to destroy freedoms that little scumfuck could never even dream to touch himself — I would like to deny him the last little check on the clipboard, i.e. constant terror. I panic, they win. To coin a phrase, Osama Bin Laden can suck my insouciance.

What cracked me up is the way Hanson uses the spike in oil prices to prove we meant well: “What did these rare Americans not fight for? Oil, for one thing. The price skyrocketed after they went in.”

Now that’s real underclassman-level logic: if we didn’t manage to grab Iraq’s oil fields, then we must never have wanted to.

Applying that to the Hitler example, Vic’s take on the Eastern Front would be, “What was Operation Barbarossa not designed to do? Conquer Russia, for one thing. By 1945, Germany had actually lost massive chunks of territory, so clearly a land-grab was the last thing on Hitler’s mind.”

It will gall a lot of administration opponents. When we suggest that we probably could have had a comprehensive deal with the Iranians three or four years ago, it will fall on deaf ears. When we argue that we wasted hundreds of billions of dollars and thousands of US and Iraqi lives to get to a place we stood a good chance of coming to more cheaply, we’ll fade into a barely intelligible background buzz in the national conversation. We’ll make the same arguments about the need for the genuine oversight that one-party government prevents, but hey, times are good today!

That will be a price worth paying.

If you think this comic is funny, you’re a NUUUUUURD!

When you are in an airport terminal or concourse, your primary goal (aside from safety, obviously), should be to not annoy the pathologically impatient people like me. There are three ways you can achieve this:

• Walk quickly.
• Walk in a straight line.
• Watch where you are walking.

I think you all should pretend that Adams between Union Station and LaSalle is one big airport concourse.